When the light is gone
by Icy Hell
Summary: It wasnt supposed to be this way...- Roland
1. Chapter 1

The darkness of the room was a familiar one, there _were _times when he was fearful of it but now, it was something he welcomed, gratefully one might say, as he walked around his home.

That innocent act she had… annoying, completely unneeded. He wanted to destroy it and laugh at her when it was crushed to bit of pieces

_'Like your heart?' _he quickly pushed that thought away.

She would just buy his bull, pretending to be the toy he had ended up forcing her to be.

There was no bond, connection nor love when they kissed. He had broken it. Destroyed every part of it till there were only fragments that remained, and even then it wasn't even large enough to mend their broken relationship.

_'You're secretive, she had and still has every right to know'_ what did his brain know? Had it ever felt such emotions as this?

The pain, the bitter hatred and envy that consumed him?

What happened to the good times?

Where did they go?

_You used to never tire of her, and now you tire with just a look. A touch. A word. A kiss._

Innocence

He abhorred its existence.

_You only hate it for it will always reminds you of her. And you don't know what person she is anymore._

What did his brain know? What did it know about such dreadful emotions?

_I. Love. You._

When was the last time they said that to each other?

When did he last say those words to her? He wondered

* * *

He sat down on the love seat, its scarlet color reminding him greatly of how much it contrasted against his beloved fiancee's eyes.

He looked up thoughts of the past clogging his brain.

She would always sit next to him, snuggling up close, her head leaning on his shoulder, tranquility dominating every single one of her features. She would stare into his cerulean eyes, she use to say they were beautiful, mesmerizing, _captivating_.

Now she didn't- no, _refused_ to acknowledge his presence unless he was feeding her lies that he would force her to listen too every now and then.

They hadn't had a decent or proper conversation in months, he realized.

'_Isn't it just like her to drive me mad with sorrow __every time?' _he smiled sadly to himself as he began to question the emptiness of his home.

He bit his bottom lip, blood making an entrance from the sudden impact.

_Didn't I love you? Didn't you love me? What happened to us?_

He ran his fingers through his messy hair before inquiring no one in particular with his unanswered question.

"Did she loathe me so much that she cursed herself as well?"

She sins

_Like you_

And sins

_Because of you_

Because of him.

It was _his_ fault was it not?

_Kind! Innocent! Caring! Wasn't that you?! The savior; the saint? What happened to that at least tell me that!_

He was completely still for several moments the clock ticking away mercilessly reminding him of how short human lives were, before chuckling like they sociopath he would always be.

Until it hit him, hard,

_'I don't deserve her'_

So he cheats hoping one way or another that it would help mend his broken heart.

He took of the ring the moment he heard Alice come in

He walks to her and hugs her, engulfing her in his scent. She smiles cheekily at him before kissing back.

There was absolutely no feelings as he held her, touched her, loved her.

He could only picture them. Every. Time. In all his waking hours and even in his sleep, the woman he loved would always find a way to worm herself into his mind and find ways to make him cry out in despair.

'_She knows, she probably does. You know her, you grew up with her, she isn't blind nor is she stupid. She knows well, too well_' he nearly gagged at the thought as his hands trailed over the girl's body. Throwing her roughly on the loveseat.

'_Grisia_….' He could only picture her as the woman's brown eyes closed, her hand feeling every part of his torso underneath his shirt.

This, he thought, was beneficial, in a way, a light in the darkness that consumed it, carresed it and loved it unconditionally.

He had fallen and he knew that somewhere, far away from here that she was falling too

_'Even though she was the light it self for you?'_

_'If you loved her then why, why are you doing this?'_

Ha, Leseus would murder him if he knew, if any of them knew. He was completely and utterly sure they'd all kill him, even _Georgeo_ who had the worst relationship out of the bunch with Grisia

Sighing to himself he let it all go, he knew he was falling but he could no longer care, the pain in his heart was so much stronger

* * *

**_... I don't even want to remember what made me do this..._**

**_should i do one for Grisia And do her side of the story?.._**

**_review?_**


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, this is just to answer any questions you had

1; Grisia became a girl through ressurection, why? well, I dont really see how men can get married in the past and it seems weird for Roland to be female dont you think? so Grisia becomes the girl instead

i have another unused document for this but i want to know does anyone want to read Grisia's side of the story?


	3. Chapter 3

Missing Light

It annoyed her, really, how he thought he could keep it a secret. He _should_ have known better, she was a feared person, not like many people knew, her victims were people who tried to harm her family, they never even knew they were bringing upon themselves something horrible, she even doubted that some of them even _knew _it was her fault until they ended up in such sad predicaments.

How he would just leave her saying he had more _work _to do. He would roughly kiss her without even a trace of guilt in his dark blue eyes as he went to his auburn haired mistress instead.

'_I wonder if he knew…' _she thought as she eyed her hands _'that she had told me about their relationship?' _

She liked to believe he didn't, but she really couldn't be so sure. '_If he knew he would change his mistress, would he not?' he probably doesn't even know that much_ she concluded.

'_How did he manage to warp her brain into believing she was doing all of us a favor?' _She often wondered about that '_He's such a bad liar' _

"Don't you know your lies kill me every time they're spoken?" she asked aloud. Her room was empty, her house was _empty_. The broken look in her eyes could tell millions of people she was suffering right now. Sitting down, she stared at the wall waiting for anything that could take away her attention from what would inevitably happen.

'_Another date cancelled….' _

She twisted a strand of golden hair, something that heused to love messing with just to see her get mad at him, they had their petty fights. She rather have those then this hell of not even talking to each other and staying away, before questioning the silence of her room.

"Am I _that _bad a lover that he has to stoop so low as to find pleasure?" her voice resonated throughout the room, unheard to anyone but herself.

She became statue like, for several moments as she tried to figure out the situation she was in.

'_Why?' _

* * *

It was useless, no one would answer, she doubted they would be able to understand the situation she was in at all. Thoughts of _'before' _clogging her brain, making her freeze.

He would _always _stay near her, compliment her, smile for _her, _there for her when she was sad and stop her from doing thing she would regret.

And now? He stayed as far from her as possible and rarely came back to stay.

'_Why?', _why did she have to get the black sheep? The one who was fed lies and empty promises. Everyone else she knew either had a lover, was married or was engaged, all just as loyal as their partners '_Maybe except Earth…' _She amended in her mind

As she sat there, staring blankly at the wall, she wondered why she couldn't just throw the ring at him and rid herself of his presence '_You know very well why' _her brain just has to be the right one.

_He cheats_

She laughed madly, not even trying to muff the sound with the pillow her head leaned against, ignorant to the tears slipping from her eyes.

_And cheats_

Funny, how only a couple of months ago she thought they were perfect soulmates.

She smiled bitterly as she mentally murdered all the happiness she ever felt with that man.

'_What you do to me…'_

Her eyes scanned her left hand and threw the ring she once wore with joy, and now hated, across the room.

She had someone to entertain to night…

She smiled bitterly as she heard the door open

And he was not a second late.

* * *

The last time she had spoken to him was when he made his last excuse, she wasn't able to take it anymore. So she lied as well, hoping one way or another that it was just temporary thing, that it was never real.

But it was. So to try and mend her heart, to steal her attention away, she cheated as well

The man played with her hair as she messed with his, her hand cupping his cheek as he stared into her eyes

She knew what she was doing.

She was committing the same sin he was, somewhere else… with another woman. She had fallen, stooped as low as him

She had broken for what he had done to her…

The man walked over, a hesitant yet pleased look in his eyes as he kissed her. _I wish it was you…_ she thought as she kissed back, his hand massaging her back as she began to calm down _I love you…_ her mind trailed as he carried her into the bedroom

'_This game can be played both ways, Roland'_


	4. Chapter 4

Hey, this is just to answer any questions you had

1: okay, since I got another question: Love makes you do stupid things. I never wrote or typed it was Roland who had a lover first, nor did the story say it was Grisia, it's like, Rebirth or something into the future. And Roland actually dies again and then came back alive in the future, so he isn't undead and Grisia isnt Roland's mistress here it's an OC, IT IS NOT PRINCESS ALICE, and guess who is Grisia's affair partner? I'm gonna let you guess


	5. Chapter 5

It hurt. It fed on her insides, killing everything in its path till there was only hollow feelings left.

How long had they been playing this game? Toying with each others feelings?

Too long, so long she couldn't even remember that last time she smiled genuinely.

It was sad. Oh, so sad how every perfect thing in their life turned into a nightmare.

Falling hadn't done a thing. She still pictured him, pictured them, pictured that this was all just some stupid dream that she just couldn't wake up from.

Like it had been at first. But the past seemed a million years ago, and now the present was agonizing, repulsive and what made her want to scream.

Both knew what they were doing each other, but neither bothered to do anything about it. To put an end to it.

Silence. This torn relationship was filled with haunting silence.

She eyed the sleeping figure. This was one of the rare nights that he came home and actually stayed.

Home.

Since when was this house a home? Was it warm and welcoming here? Was love in the air? Did people feel at home when they entered this hellhole?

No.

**_Empty; lonely. Dark; cold._**

This place was not a home. It would never be a home. It could only be a house, were no one could bear live in.

'What would you say, Roland... If I mentioned those words, lost so long ago?' She lightly whispered into his ear.

"You're so beautiful, Roland. So painfully beautiful. Why do you make me suffer so?" Her voice was hoarse as she held back tears, if she woke him up he might just get angry at her and tell her to leave him alone, _that_ was actually more inviting then him just turning over and ignoring her.

'_It seems like forever since I last said them_.' She thought as she stopped herself from hugging him, her eyes, over flowing with pain as her face stayed passive.

"I love you..." '_I would even commit an innocent sin for you_' she thought

No. it was not innocent. She was not innocent. How could she be, committing the actions of a devil? She knew very well this was a sin that had earned her a place in hell.

_As if there wasnt one already?_

She was but a selfish disgrace to everyone who had taken care of her since young.

All along it remained decided. They were fated to end up in such a miserable predicament.

She slipped out of the bed, careful not to wake the man she once loved without a doubt. The man that once loved her_ without a doubt..._

'_Ne, Roland, can you tell **me** that you love **me**_?'

She quietly laughed at how their lives ended up to be. Were they always so broken?

'_Pretty please?_'

Stepping out of the nightgown, the young woman began to talk to thin air. First, she babbled to herself about what had happened on the previous day. Before becoming more serious, She then turned to her fiancé. "It hurts, you know? I can't believe I'm committing sin because of you."

She put on a simple, black dress shirt her eyes watching him.

"Haha... I believed you. Believed you when you said we'd be together forever. Dear God of Light, was I ever such a fool?" She asked as she pulled up the black jeans and began walking towards him.

"Can't you hold me one last time?" she whispered slightly into his ear, but the unconscious figure never stirred.

Tears stained her cheeks as she pecked him on the forehead. "Roland... Goodbye..."

_Even if it's just a lie. Even if you'd rather die._

She took her keys, took her purse, and put on some pumps.

She would come back, of course, because the game could not be played while a player was absent.

She left the ring on the counter.

And all the while she drove to another man's house...

…Grisia Sun never noticed that the one she left...

Was wide awake.

"I love you." the silent voice whispered

Too bad his only audience had already left.

* * *

**hi, this isnt that finale. I bet I shocked many of you. Well anyways, those anyone know who was Grisia's affair partner? No? Well I'll just tell you all next time.**

**reviews Please**


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